Hi. My name is Allison. And I’m addicted to people-pleasing.
Motherhood: it’s hard for the perfectionist people-pleaser. In this sneaky, backwards way, I realize that I’m striving for that ever-elusive label of “perfect mom”. I’m not talking about the one that has a neat house and the pinterest-perfect nursery. Those are surface level things. I’m talking about the more intrusive things. I hope I wasn’t a helicopter mom and that I let everyone have adequate time with baby girl. I hope she took great naps and breastfed perfectly. I hope I made all the right decisions for her, but I also hope I still managed to prioritize my marriage. I hope that I communicated well and worked hard at my job. I hope I found time to spend with God, and I hope I worked out. The list goes on. At end of the day, I want to have pleased everyone. Perfectly.
Seeking these things isn’t a bad thing, but the problem is, I’m addicted to the “good job” that is attached to them. And when I don’t get that affirmation, I feel insecure. I know that each personality type, each woman, has a unique challenge with motherhood. It’s all different buckets of hard and good. But I’m just going to speak to all the perfectionist people-pleasers like me: can we stop trying to please everyone? Motherhood isn’t a performance. The affirmation of others and my idea of perfection too often sits on the throne of my life. And nothing draws that out of me like being a mom. But I don’t want that anymore. I want Jesus. Because he is enough.
So, if you’re anything like me, can we let the love and grace of Jesus be real? Real enough to settle the perfectionist tendencies and the constant striving to please our husbands, our parents, our friends, our kids, our egos?
I want to hunger and thirst for righteousness instead of affirmation.
I want Jesus to be enough for today and leave tomorrow where it should be.
I won’t be the perfect mom, perfect wife, or perfect friend. I won’t love perfectly. I won’t prioritize perfectly. So I’m just going to try and let go of perfection and the constant need to please everyone and simply hold onto Jesus.
And I am pretty sure that when I seek to please him, everything else will fall into place.